Feelings on EoE2016-11-08 10:05, 2 years and 7 months ago
Due to my forthcoming lack of internet I downloaded the whole TV series and EoE of Evangelion & Serial Experiments Lain in preparation to be bored out of my mind for the next 2 months or so.
I ended up watching the whole Evangelion series over 2 days, I went with the expectation that it would be just a dumb mecha series but in the end it kinda hurt to watch it. I dunno I never really get too upset over films or whatever, side note; I think this blog/site reflects the positive side of myself, even if in reality I hardly feel the way I come across in my posts, so I apologize for talking about my feelings or stuff.
Anyway; about the movie, I’d say its the emotional equivalent of blunt trauma, like being repeatedly hit over the head with a baseball bat, mostly because (spoiler alert) everyone dies, kind of. Also theres some pretty heavy topics discussed in about personality, motives, relationships etc. Like this image for example.
That’s the kind of thing that made it hard to watch. I still don’t fully understand Instrumentality since I think theres something everyone can derive from it, a subjective sense of the film, if you will. I think it’s a great film though; not something I’d watch for fun however.
I kind of snapped in physics today, we were doing something about the photoelectric effect and I obviously wasn’t looking too good as my teacher, Craig, came over while everyone else was working on a problem sheet - he asked me if I was feeling ok. I started crying infront of him. Not a full blown cry, but the one where you try to hold it back but the water keeps streaming out - I asked if I could leave to go somewhere, he came out with me and asked if it was something he did wrong - of course not I thought, I just watched a dumb fucking movie that’s made me more depressed than ever.
I ended up running out of college and I’ve be lying in bed ever since.