First week at Uni2018-09-30 13:02, 7 months and 3 weeks ago
I’m on a train right now so I figure now is a better time than ever to write this. For some context I’ve been in Guildford all day with one of my oldest friends, we just walked around a bit, had a few (too many) drinks and she made some really tasty salmon and noodle thingy. Anyway I’ve been fucking around with trains for the last 2 hours because I’m stupid, drunk and sleepy. I caught a wrong train it took me right back to my starting point, yeah, I know.
Thankfully I have it sorted now, and in my sleep-deprived somewhat sober fugue state I’m going to talk about how the first week at uni went. Unsurprisingly it wasn’t very great. For starters I got stupidly drunk my first night and embarrassed myself in front of everyone, nice. Then a couple of days later my dysphoria went nuclear and I found myself at the university doctor asking for some strong-ass anti-depressants.
He obviously thought I was sad as fuck because within 20 minutes of discussing Prozac, Sertraline and others I had in my hand a prescription, no questions asked, for 100mg of Sertraline lasting indefinitely. On anti-depressants within a week of starting uni, what a line. I also talked to him about getting re-referred back to Porterbrook (which I later found out has a 61 week[!!] waiting list) and getting my HRT on prescription, he said it’d take him a couple of weeks to get the letters prepared for it since it’s not really a common medication they give out, but he seems to care enough to want to help me out.
I’m sort of regretting dropping a lot of money on medications now that I know I can get them on prescription, I suppose now that I’m an adult the gatekeeping for this stuff isn’t so extreme - in actual fact I suppose it’s more likely due to my previous diagnosis of GD they’re more willing to give me this medication.
The Sertraline isn’t going so well so far, as expected from the common side affects within the first 2 weeks I’m feeling nauseous very often and quite drowsy. My flatmates keep knocking on my door and inviting me to events but I just feel so crap I can hardly leave my room if only for stuff like food.
The other day they asked if I wanted to come to laser-tag with them (at like 11pm), I wanted to go but I physically couldn’t bring myself to. Later on in the night (morning?) one of the guys, Oli I think this name is, came up to me and said something along the lines of: “You don’t have to isolate yourself from us, we’re here for you if you need us”.
My flatmates seem like nice people, too bad I’m a piece of shit, I told him I was just taking some new meds which make me drowsy, he asked what for but I declined to answer since I don’t think it’s exactly pertinent. I feel bad that my flatmates already think I’m a recluse. Eh. I’m hoping things get better after these stupid side effects wear off and my course starts so I actually have something to think about.