캐스


Plan

2019-03-06 02:00, 2 months and 2 weeks ago
b8a1c6eeba93aab32daa14a7017da6d9


From https://cass.si/blog/18/268/why-the-fuck-u-do-that-shit:

i’m kinda regretting going to uni now too, i’m seriously considering dropping out after this year and deferring my placement for 2 years so i can get a job and get ffs. if i stay at uni it’ll mean i won’t get ffs for at least 5 years, and to be honest the thought of presenting male for so long really doesnt make me feel good. nothing feels like it matters anymore, i worked so hard to get here and i don’t even care. i don’t want to be here.

Step 1. Drop out

Done.

Step 2. Work

The induction for my new job is this Thursday, tommorrow, at 10am - never a better time than ever to write this post eh? It’s the same place, but a better paid position, with the opportunity of a fairly significant promotion after 3 months.

My shift pattern kinda sucks, Saturday & Sunday for 12 hours + 2 other days for 8 hours with 4 hours overtime (which may or may not be on). Which leaves me with 3 weekdays free. I figure if I can manage this job I’ll take up another one - I wouldn’t be too bothered with the wage (to an extent), as long as they could accommodate my working pattern, any extra income is for the better. If I get promoted and get another job I hope to pull in about £2300~, after tax.

In my time since leaving uni I spent a few weeks at home, and then a month at my boyfriends place which was really nice, we fed ducks, cuddled a lot, went on dates and played the entire Halo trilogy on co-op. Now that I’m home I wish I spent less time sleeping on his bed…

I’ve been back for about a week or so and I’m ready to enter wagie-dom.

I spent a few days cooking up this excel document in order to steer my finances in the correct direction, I’ve learned a lot about Excel in the meantime which was somewhat fun.

I’m looking forward to adding data on the sheet, I find visualizing your efforts helps immensely with motivation. Goal in sight and all.

There’s a certain worry in the back of my mind about the possibility of working a 60 hour work week in the future though - social life, relationships, general life etc. I like my current boyfriend, a lot, to the point where I feel undeserving of him because of how I pale in comparison. I’m just concerned that working so much won’t leave me with enough time or energy to interact with him.

One day I’ll have all this money, but maybe he won’t be with me anymore, and I’ll sit there questioning if it was worth it. That’s what I’m worried about.