ffs gang!2019-05-04 23:14, 2 weeks and 5 days ago
ffs gang! ffs gang! ffs gang! yes, that is the title of this post.
what is ffs you may ask? it’s facial feminisation surgery - turns you from an ugly brick munching manfreak into something resembling a female (this is what i want).
i’ve been going through the motions of getting a consultation, booking a date and now… waiting. fun? not so much, so i thought i’d spend some time recounting my little adventure.
step 1, a surgeon
so many choices! which one to choose? fucking hell i don’t know, you can spend all year reading reviews, seeing before and afters, reading /mtfgen/ (i dont do that) etc. etc. and then on the day of the consultation get a bad feeling and your first choice becomes your last choice. that’s how it be.
personally i just looked at local surgeons (europe wide) and went from there, the big two are FacialTeam and 2pass. since im 19 and a student i’m not exactly loaded with money… still, i don’t think money should sway your opinion too much - you can only realistically do ffs once after all, better to do it right for a bit more than get a crappy result for a good deal.
step 2, consultation
today i went to my consultation with Dr Bart de Ven and he was super nice, poked around my face, told me my shit was basically fucked, stuck his fingers in my mouth, took some photos of me and priced it up and bam… done. surprisingly he didnt ask that much about my history, basically how long i’ve been on hrt and what i didn’t like about my face, that’s it.
anyway my ffs consists of:
- Chin recontouring with advancement of the chin
- Forehead recontouring type 1 (shaving) with hairline recontouring and browlift (including orbital rim shaving)
which comes to about €11,300, but adding on materials, anesthesia, hospital theater hire, hotel etc. it comes to €18,089 with VAT. so i’m looking at about £16,000.
as well as the pricing i got some totally dysphoria inducing simulations of what i’d look like after it was all done:
he did the profile one during the consultation and i nearly flat out passed out in my seat, it’s just very sort of comforting knowing that the person in that image is me and i’ll look like that pretty soon. (i cried a bit tbf)
i really like the way he front view looks (ignoring my lazy eye), but after looking at them a bit more i’m not so sure about the profile, i feel like the chin could be shaped a little better, as well as my nose a bit less pointy, but hopefully those things can be discussed before the surgery… speaking of which!
step 3, booking the surgery
i was gonna book it with him during the consultation but i didn’t know when my mum’s holiday was going to be. luckily there’s a really nice interface on his website that makes it painless to pick a date. Dr Barts’ earliest available date is October 15th but my mums’ on holiday then (grr), so i’ve had to put it a bit later…
booking my surgery was super simple, a few forms and paying a €1000 deposit and i’m done, date set: 5th november. excitement: high, bank account: drained, will to live: elevated
it’s sort of difficult to explain to the average person why i’d want this to get done, it’s expensive and invasive, but then again most people aren’t trans so i wouldnt expect them to understand.
probably the most important reason to get this done is to remove the gouging hole inside i feel inside whenever i have to look in the mirror when brushing my teeth, going outside, catching a glimpse of myself on reflective windows - being misgendered or whatever makes me feel like complete shit, but just walking around and people seeing them, and knowing that they just seem me as a guy walking down the street feels worse.